The Ruines of My Heart

You live in my thoughts and you live around me, you make me happy, you make me smile, you make my day and my nights worth living for, away from everyone and everywhere, 

In the ruines of my heart.

Deep inside, alone in the darkness 

Your voice echoes in the hollowness of my heart, beating slowly,

in the ruines of my heart.

The shadows of time and the stillness of my voice

Mimicks the moments I spent with you, 

I charish them all 

Silently, in the ruines of my heart. 

The warmth of your touch 

and the softness of your voice 

reminds me of the days and nights, 

when I was the king of my thoughts 

Now I am just a prisoner of time 

in the ruines of my heart

I deceive my faith with a borrowed smile

hiding the sorrows of tomorrow and I,

Keep on building fences around you and I, in the ruines of my heart 

it makes me sad to know that you live here, alone without me 

With no hope nor any desire to return 

So I keep it vacant and empty, in the ruines of my heart

in the ruines of my heart, 

I keep a memory of you 

A smile to share, a moment to remember

Deep inside me, a place to live in the ruines of my heart.... 

One by one

Deep inside me,

Something is breaking down,

Slowly and gradually,

One by one,

All my dreams are shattering,

Into pieces,

That I have collected,

Over time,

One by one,

Killing me,

Draining me,

Of all my dreams, 

One by one 

A Mute Song of Happiness

In the suburbs of the heart,

Away from the graveyard of the past,

I walk through the memory lane,

Reaching to a place,

Where I can rest and gaze in the future,

Unfolding it in front of my eyes,

Moment to moment,

I become an audience to myself,

A spectator to my life,

Like an unfinished dream,

Crude and jarring,

Deep and calm,

Enigmatic and misunderstood,

Like a mute song of happiness.

Optimistic!

Talking to my heart,

I was lost with words,

Happiness filled the air,

Sorrows disappeared,

I am pleasantly optimistic about tomorrow,

Like a child waiting to open his presents,

Excited,

I await anxiously.....

Recursive Selfishness

Ambitions of my dreams,

I saw them,

Being sold in the house of mirrors,

By someone unknown,

Why are they buying them?

I asked,

They are precious,

I was told,

Someone made them carefully,

Nobody knows who,

And why,

Why are they selling it?

I asked,

Whoever made them,

Abandoned them,

I was told,

I picked a few,

They looked just like mine,

So precious,

So simple,

I kept them,

In the safe hands of time,

Only to be stollen by my alter ego,

I looked around,

And saw everyone with the same face,

Same smiles,

Same grieves,

Same denials,

The recursive selfishness of them all,

Aroused my desire,

To be exclusive,

In the hall of mirrors, 

I only had my own reflection to cheat,

Infinitely!

The Lying God!

Lies for reasons are still lies,

I thought I have become immune to the hurt of lies,

I was never so wrong,

It still shakes my confidence,

It still hurts like a knife in my heart,

Sitting besides the shattered God, 

The God, I created with my own hands,

With so much love and care,

I realized,

I was never so wrong,

I made my own God, 

For my own selfish reasons,

What is the use of telling that God now,

Who lied to me, again and again

For His pleasure and convenience,

Let the truth, rip us apart,

And let it bleed my soul, 

to a point,

Where I can confess to myself,

"I can't love You anymore",

Lies for a reason are still lies!

Confused!

I heard that voice after such a long time,

A rush of emotions sinked into me,

Red, blue, black and gray,

Over powered me,

Feels like I am floating across an ocean,

Moving towards a fog of doubt,

Unthinkable and confused,

I want to hold,

The hand of my destiny,

Before I take a step into the unknown,

Waiting for the voice,

I converse with myself,

Pretending to be me,

As you,

Echoes of the heart are humming they name,

Giving a new voice in the chaos of thoughts,

A question arises,

Should I trust my mind or listen to the heart,

They have both been not true to me in the past,

Who should I trust now?

They both have their desires,

They both are selfish, 

What they want is to dominate,

Control and complete obedience,

Of my faith, trust and ambitions...

Am I thinking right?

Or my feelings are deceiving me?

Tears

Looking at your face,

In the dim light of the moon,
With darkness spreading across the room,
My heart missed a beat today,
Speaking to myself,
I realized,
When I see your smile disappearing in time,
I try to convince, cheat and lie to myself,
"I am yours",
But I know the truth, and I can't share it with you,
"I love your tears too!"