Move on!

Have I ever been in love?

I found myself asking this,

While, I was flipping years in my memory,

I saw objects of compassion and a few steps of ladders,

Faced with misspelled names and mistaken identities.

The transition of nouns into pro-nouns,

Verbs into pro-verbs,

Defining a lot what I have witnessed and what I have forgotten,

The gains and losses I made over time,

All this is forcing, while

Yelling at me,

"Move on, move on!"

Lost and Not Found

I am looking a way to ditch my shadow,

So both of us can announce,

Departure from our existence,

We can both say,

We have,

Lost and not found each other.

A Mute Song of Happiness

In the suburbs of the heart,

Away from the graveyard of the past,

I walk through the memory lane,

Reaching to a place,

Where I can rest and gaze in the future,

Unfolding it in front of my eyes,

Moment to moment,

I become an audience to myself,

A spectator to my life,

Like an unfinished dream,

Crude and jarring,

Deep and calm,

Enigmatic and misunderstood,

Like a mute song of happiness.

A Pray to the Devil

O' Satan, O' Satan,

I seek your refuge,

As He abandoned me,

Left me alone,

Refused by all,

I am the lone survivor of time,

Deceived by the One,

I seek revenge for my humiliations,

My soul crave to avenge those,

Who caste me away,

Just because,

They all knew,

I was with Him,

Then why?

Get me out of this,

Depth of morality,

Help me conquer the heights of my ambitions,

For once,

I want to show them all,

I was innocent,

I was right,

Look, what I am now!

A symbol of desire,

An object of worship,

I have achieved what He designed me for,

I am the one, 

Now,

Prostrated by Baal everyday.

A Pray to the Lord

I see myself crumbling down,

Into million pieces,

Each one of me cries,

Help!

The Unthinkable

The horizon of my thoughts,
Are colored in rainbow,
Depicting multiple moods,
I can be played by,
The limitations of my imaginations,
Shows the true nature of my instincts,
In between, secluded in the corner of the center,
I am playing with,
The unthinkable.

Sinking Heart

Unaware of tomorrow,

Uncertain about today,

Indifferent to yesterday,

I have a desire to disappear into the unknown,

Nothing inspires me,

While silence surrounds me,

With slow dominating sounds of sanity in my mind,

I listen to the gradual diminishing whispers of conversations,

With myself,

As I try to keep afloat,

My sinking heart offers me a refuge,

Unable to distinguish between realities,

I walk among the rest,

With my head down and a smile on my face.

Optimistic!

Talking to my heart,

I was lost with words,

Happiness filled the air,

Sorrows disappeared,

I am pleasantly optimistic about tomorrow,

Like a child waiting to open his presents,

Excited,

I await anxiously.....

Recursive Selfishness

Ambitions of my dreams,

I saw them,

Being sold in the house of mirrors,

By someone unknown,

Why are they buying them?

I asked,

They are precious,

I was told,

Someone made them carefully,

Nobody knows who,

And why,

Why are they selling it?

I asked,

Whoever made them,

Abandoned them,

I was told,

I picked a few,

They looked just like mine,

So precious,

So simple,

I kept them,

In the safe hands of time,

Only to be stollen by my alter ego,

I looked around,

And saw everyone with the same face,

Same smiles,

Same grieves,

Same denials,

The recursive selfishness of them all,

Aroused my desire,

To be exclusive,

In the hall of mirrors, 

I only had my own reflection to cheat,

Infinitely!

Screams!

Diving into my ego,

I found the skeleton of my dreams, 

Wrapped up in lust,

Hidden behind petty desires,

I find solace in desolation,

What is left behind,

Are just ashes of time,

Scattered across my smile,

What is ahead, 

Holds the future from my sins,

My heart screams for help,

In the silence of my thoughts,

I praise the one I love,

And ask,

Let me go!, let me go!

Time Travel!

Confused and disgusted,

Noises in the front,

I sit deaf, dumb and blind,

Surrounded by,

People wearing masks of deceit,

Laughters by day, silence by night,

A show everyday,

A play each night,

Getting suffocated by the absence of emotions inside me,

The emptiness of the reality around me,

Why?

I ask, and my voice echoes from all sides,

Reminding me about,

Limitations of my thoughts, space and time,

Making me realise,

I am confined by my conscious,

Awakened by the coward inside me,

As time passes by in front of my eyes,

I become a witness to my theft,

Flying away in time, 

Leaving my place in a thought for the future.

Confrontation

Sitting in front of my ego,

I am confronted with reality,

Everyday,

How simple it is, to see and smile?

The logic confronting the desire,

Crafting myself gradually,

Recreating in the image of my desire,

I hide behind the cloak of logic, 

Just to conceal my real motives,

Disguising myself with naked lies,

I stand tall with pride,

My ego yells at me,

I know it all, I know it all!

I smile,

Letting the desire to conspire,

It whispers quietly in my thoughts,

I want it all, I will have it all!

Blind Faith

Last night was full of pain,

People insearch of hope,

Unaware of how and what they want,

With their gods on their back,

Confronted with the hopeless,

Nothing was achieved,

A few lost hope, a few lost sight,

Some still had their gods on their side,

While all wait for Abraham to rise,

Until then the gods continue to be praised and worshiped,

With a blind faith,

For a reason unknown to them.

Shedding A Dry Tear

Look at my face,

My masquerade smile,

Listen to the echoes of my heart,

The sound of emptiness,

Shackle with my soul,

Look around and see,

The shallowness of my thoughts,

With some broken smiles,

A few unfulfilled desires and a few happy moments,

A graveyard of memories,

A garden of hopeless ambitions,

Stay here for a while,

You will see your shadow,

Emerging from an unfinished dream,

Come closer,

You might see,

The selfishness of my compassion,
Camouflaged in piety,

I am sitting alone,

Looking at you,

Shedding a dry tear.

Impostor

When the shadows start to haunt, 

And whispers become unbearable,

I hear the Impostor inside me,

Commanding me to listen, talk, cheat and lie to myself,

Deceiving from truth and reality,

Guilt, shame and mistrust become my virtue,

I convince myself, 

I am not helpless!

The future is there,

As a hope for tomorrow,

As I run away from darkness towards light,

I struggle to wake up from my reality,

Defying every god I have believed in,

Every moment I have cherished,

Shouting at myself in the loneliness around me,

Silence becomes, a luxury beyond me,
With a glow in my eyes and a smile on my face,

I wait for this moment to pass by,

Unnoticed and undetected.

The Lying God!

Lies for reasons are still lies,

I thought I have become immune to the hurt of lies,

I was never so wrong,

It still shakes my confidence,

It still hurts like a knife in my heart,

Sitting besides the shattered God, 

The God, I created with my own hands,

With so much love and care,

I realized,

I was never so wrong,

I made my own God, 

For my own selfish reasons,

What is the use of telling that God now,

Who lied to me, again and again

For His pleasure and convenience,

Let the truth, rip us apart,

And let it bleed my soul, 

to a point,

Where I can confess to myself,

"I can't love You anymore",

Lies for a reason are still lies!

Life?

Looking at the mirror,

I asked, what is life?

My reflection answered,

Of course me!

I was asked, what is life?

I remained silenced in confusion and delusion, 

The stillness around me echoed, what am I?

I smiled and looked at the mirror,

I saw myself saying, of course you!

Bars of time

These days, 

I am awake with sleepy thoughts,

Thoughts about black, white and green

Now and then,

I see shadows dancing around me,

I remain confused,

Confined behind the bars of time,

If, I am still,

Dreaming or awake..

Hope around me

Looking around me,

I saw a fascinating thing,

Hope growing around me!

Without telling me, it grows on me,

Am I fascinated by it?

Conspiring

Finally,

I feel, I am happy,

Part of me thinks,

It has finally subdued the angel of sorrow,

Part of me is,

Smiling,

On the innocence of these moments,

Shying away from each other,

Both of me are,

Conspiring against each other,

Keeping me happy at both ends,

I feel like a winner...

Confused!

I heard that voice after such a long time,

A rush of emotions sinked into me,

Red, blue, black and gray,

Over powered me,

Feels like I am floating across an ocean,

Moving towards a fog of doubt,

Unthinkable and confused,

I want to hold,

The hand of my destiny,

Before I take a step into the unknown,

Waiting for the voice,

I converse with myself,

Pretending to be me,

As you,

Echoes of the heart are humming they name,

Giving a new voice in the chaos of thoughts,

A question arises,

Should I trust my mind or listen to the heart,

They have both been not true to me in the past,

Who should I trust now?

They both have their desires,

They both are selfish, 

What they want is to dominate,

Control and complete obedience,

Of my faith, trust and ambitions...

Am I thinking right?

Or my feelings are deceiving me?

Déjà VU

Moving in the fast lane,

I realized for a moment,

I was moving alone,

In a direction unknown,

To an undecided destination,

Moving away from now to then,

Passing by sorrows and happiness,

I saw a reflection of myself in the stillness of the journey,

Envious of my own self,

Jealous of my shadow,

I tried to ditch myself,

With a few thoughts of a desire,

In the lust to fulfil my ambitions,

I decided to leave behind,

Everything that is keeping me still and afloat,

Sinking in my desire,

I realized,

I am drowning alone.

Curse of Knowing

Laughing sounds of silence,
With smiling faces of emptiness,
Chasing me around all the time,
Whispering your name,
Again and again,
and
Again,
Asking me about you,
Haunting me with loneliness,
Every day and each night,
How can I not tell them?
What they don't know,
You are mine,
Only mine....

Tears

Looking at your face,

In the dim light of the moon,
With darkness spreading across the room,
My heart missed a beat today,
Speaking to myself,
I realized,
When I see your smile disappearing in time,
I try to convince, cheat and lie to myself,
"I am yours",
But I know the truth, and I can't share it with you,
"I love your tears too!"

Whisper

Dreams of today and dreams of tomorrow,
Came together to make me happy for a few smiles and a few sorrows,
If I close my eyes for a sight, I can look at your smile,
Feels like borrowed happiness,
Amazing to hear,
Pleasure to bear,
Just a small wish,
Just a whisper in my ear,
All that you hear is a lie,
I am yours,
I am here...

The Mullah

Dragging myself from place to place,

Tired of taking myself on my shoulders across the time,

In search of a familiar thought,

I see crowds of people,

Disillusioned with their own self,

Blaming each other for their broken dreams,

Claiming to be loyal to their own gods,

Hoping to receive coins of mercy for some extra time....

Transition!

The future and the past came to see me today,
Mesmerized by tomorrow and influenced by my yesterday, I was skeptical of their interests in today,
They both had claims to my present,
Something which non of them have contributed to,
The past says that "you are here because of me!, the steps I have taken and I have been your guiding force to achieve your today",
The future says "I have always been your inspiration, how can you defy my right to today?"
In a confused state of present, I have to abandon my past while refusing the bounties of the future,
I am today, what I am!!

Insecure!

Surrounded by the theists of insecurities,

Competing to block each other,

Claiming their right to shine,

Suffocating each other to charm,

Wishing each other fall to disgrace,

With the same right they want to rise,

Rising above the rainbow among the clouds of faith and beyond...

Visitor from the Past

He came to see me after such a long time,

The shadow from my past,

"How are you old friend?", he asked me,

"Have you abandoned me or have you forgotten me?",

"Where have you been?", he asked me,

"I have been looking at you from a distant past", he told me,

"I am not ready", I told him,

With a hallow smile and a reluctant hug I told him to go away....

Living in the Moment

We are both living in the same moment,

You at the start and I at the end,

Looking at each other, for each other.

Feeling Blue!

With the advent of the evening, when the sun starts to go down to sleep slowly,

I look at the sky and start missing a face,

The innocent smile of time, gradual laugh of the moon, reminds me of the emptiness of my being,

As the stars starts to appear gradually,
the horizon becomes playground for my thoughts,

writing your name,
so the universe can whisper it to Him,

Reminding me of the innocence of today for the guilt of tomorrow...

Looking for Myself

Looking into myself,

I found the young smiling at the old.

Blank

Blank.....

Fire

Surrounded by the clouds of fire,

Circles within circles around me,

Keeping me warm and suffocating,

Burning my desire to fly, increasing my thirst for air...

Crisis of Self

Am I here?

Who is calling my name?

Am I the one looking for myself?

Isn't it you looking outside the mirror again?

Who are you? 

Or is it me again?

Are we both pretending to be us again? 

Why am I Smiling?

Dreaming big and strange,

surfing the wave of thought,

standing tall beneath the clouds of certainty,

unclear of present,

uncertain of my own reality,

looking for a sign of existence,

hoping for the truth to be revealed, 

shadows of darkness stands besides me in an elevator of time, 

covering the distance of believe, 

reaching the illusion of happiness,

satisfying my lust to masquerade again.

Alone

Smoke of darkness spreading around me slowly; comforting me into disbelieve of existence.

Deep, dark and cold....

Fate by Choice or by Design

Can fate be by choice or is it the work of a designer?

We make the right choice to shape the future... Are we part of the design or the designer?

Currencies of Confrontation

Currencies of Confrontation...

lack of communication is usual suspect for disagreements in relationships, whether personal, professional or institutional. 

We so often forget to define the currency which governs the relations; is it, power, attention, fame, love or simply money that we are seeking in the whole interaction. 

Most of the time relationships are confronted without realizing what we want? 

So many different reasons not to trust, leading to miscommunication and ultimately making it derstandable and unavoidable confrontation.

An Empty Room

My room is empty only filled with the memories of tomorrow 

confined by the limits of my thoughts, who is there?